Red
by nicola.anderson.7
Summary: Marissa's death was hard for everyone. It was especially hard for one blonde-haired, blue-eyed, broken-hearted boy.


Her stillness was overwhelming. She shouldn't be that still.

"Marissa. Wake up. Please." Ryan mumbled, swallowing the lump in his throat. In his heart he knew she wouldn't wake up. Knew she wouldn't move again, wouldn't talk or laugh or cry. Ever again. He hugged her closer to his body and buried his face in her honey blonde hair. It smelled like chlorine and copper, mixed in with her summer fruit shampoo. He inhaled her scent and hugged her even tighter.

"Hey kid, you okay?" A voice broke the stillness. There was the sound of footsteps and then, "Oh god. Is she...I'm going to call an ambulance. Wait here." The footsteps retreated hastily towards a still running engine. Ryan's stomach flipped and twisted into an uncomfortable knot, tightening with every footstep. This was real. This was happening. Marissa wouldn't wake up. He looked down at her, brushed the bloodied hair away from her face, tucking in behind her ear and pressed his lips to her forehead.

Her blood was so red, trickling down her face from the gash in her hairline. It was so red. Her once innocent, care-free blood was now damaged and spoiled, pooling on the tarmac. Ryan licked his lips and tasted blood. He didn't know if it was Marissa's or his but it disgusted him. He spat to the side, dragging his sleeve across his mouth. His hands shook and were red. So red.

"Kid help is on the way." The voice came again. Ryan was suddenly aware that they weren't alone. That someone else was here, intruding on their last moments together. He ignored the voice, shrugged off the hand that patted his shoulder. He could hear the sirens, growing nearer and nearer, and his grip once again tightened on Marissa. He was going to let her go. She wasn't going to do this on her own.

The blue flashing lights appeared too soon and the paramedics were swarming, taking in the scene. The flipped, burning car and the blonde haired boy clutching so tightly at the beautiful girl as though he was a drowning man and she was his buoy. One paramedic, crouched in front of the pair and spoke in a soft, attentive voice, "Hey sweetie. What's your name?"

She got no response but continued, "Can I have a look at your friend? What's her name?"

"Marissa." The boy glanced at the paramedic, not raising his head, just peering through his hair. His piercing blue eyes told her what she already suspected.

"I'm Lucy...Can I have a look at Marissa?"

The boy glanced at Lucy before kissing the girl on her ashen cheek then looked back at Lucy and murmured, "You can't help her. You're too late."

"Oh." Lucy paused and laid a hand on the boy which was promptly shaken loose, "But maybe I can help. I have training and experience with these kind of things."

"You don't have training in Marissa." The boy muttered, "You can't help her. I couldn't."

"Well can I have a look at you? Can I help you?"

"No...m'fine." The boy muttered and lapsed into silence. It was like he'd used up all his words. Slowly, still holding Marissa, he got to his feet and looked at the back of the ambulance, "I have to take her to the airport. She has a flight to catch." He started to stagger along the road, limping and pausing to shift Marissa's weight ever so often.

"How about we give you a ride?" Lucy called after him, "We can help her on the way." She gestured towards the back of the ambulance. The boy paused and stiffened before changing direction and awkwardly getting in the ambulance, still cradling Marissa tightly to his chest. Lucy gestured to her partner who quickly packed up all the equipment he'd intended to use before climbing in the driver's seat and starting the engine. Lucy climbed in the back and gestured for the boy to put Marissa on the trolley. He swallowed before gently placing her on the trolley.

Once Marissa was on the trolley, Lucy set to work, checking the girl's pulse and injuries. She found no pulse and immediately started CPR while the ambulance sped towards HOAG.

Ryan watched disinterestedly. He already knew she was gone. That she would never wake up. She was gone and with her, she had taken a massive chunk of him. Lucy rattled off stats and pressed harder and harder on Marissa's chest. The ambulance stopped suddenly and the doors flung open and Marissa was whisked away in a bustle of nurses and doctors, all shouting things and listening to the stats Lucy recited. Ryan followed, desperately hoping the doctors would prove him wrong. That they could help her.

He followed them into Emergency Ward and stood at the foot of the bed as doctors hurried about, continuing CPR and using a defibrillator. Someone was trying to tug him away but he held fast, watching with pleading eyes. Then the call came up and he knew he was doomed.

"Calling it. Time of death...9:34."

"You can't just stop." The words came out on their own accord, "You can't just stop. Marissa! Wake up now! Please...You can't just stop." Someone was pulling him out the room and all he could do was freeze as a doctor pulled a sheet over Marissa's head and she became just a memory.

"We need to check you over." A quiet voice spoke, pulling at his arm.

"I don't need help. I don't need help." Ryan growled and pulled away from the nurse, staggering into the waiting room. He wiped his face with a shaking hand and caught a glance of himself in the plastic covering over the noticeboard. Blood was smeared across his cheeks and the he had a large purple bruise with a cut above his left eyebrow. He sighed and slumped into one of the hard, plastic chairs that dotted the waiting room.

He would wait. He would wait for Julie Cooper. She would blame him, scream and possibly hit him. She wouldn't lie. She wouldn't say it wasn't his fault. She would blame him and he would agree. He slumped further in his chair, his head cocked to the side as he stared at the wall.

Twenty minutes later he heard the clack of heels on the floor, followed by heavy footsteps.

"Ryan!" It was Kirsten. He didn't glance up, didn't take his eyes away from their spot on the floor. He couldn't. If he did, he would break under the caring eyes of the Cohens. Kirsten sat on his left and Sandy, he assumed, sat on his right. Fingers ran through his hair and an arms wrapped around his neck, a face being buried in the space between his neck and shoulder.

"Where's my daughter? Where is she?" Julie Cooper demanded as she barged into the waiting room, Neil following behind. Ryan shot to his feet and finally looked up. Julie saw him and marched towards him, "Where is she? Ryan? Is she okay?"

Ryan swallowed thickly and locked eyes with his old enemy. All he saw was Marissa. They had the same eyes. He swallowed again.

"Ryan where is she?" Her voice was urgent.

"She..." Ryan trailed off and shook his head. Julie froze then lunged at him, tears streaming down her face.

"You're lying! She's alright! You're lying!" Her fists batted off Ryan's chest. He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close, ignoring her flying fists and curses. She struggled against his grip but he didn't let up and soon she stopped struggling, her curses turning to sobs.

"My baby...My baby. Oh God..." She wailed. Ryan was aware of Kirsten's gasp and Sandy's comforting words. Neil hovered nearby and soon Julie switched from sobbing to screaming and hitting Ryan again, "You killed her! It's your fault! You killed her!"

Ryan accepted her blows, even when she struck him on the face, "I know."

Neil pulled Julie away, murmuring softly, "That's not fair. It wasn't his fault."

Kirsten's arms wrapped around Ryan. She pulled his head to her neck and kissed his hair. He didn't hug back. Sandy laid a comforting hand on his back. Ryan caught his eyes and felt tears in his own. He blinked them away before they had the chance to spill over. Sandy wrapped his arms around his wife and son. Ryan pulled out of the embrace moments later, wrapping his arms around his chest.

There was a commotion in the doorway and radio static filled the waiting room.

Sandy spoke softly, "The police are here."

* * *

**A/N: ****This idea has just been floating around in my head ever since I watched the O.C. I recently got back into it and decided to write this up. **

**Minor spoilers: I will probably use the cage fighting from season 4 at some point because I like that idea and it gave us a bit of Action Atwood back, even if he did get his ass kicked a lot. **

**Drop a review, comment or critique if you feel like it. It would be good to know what you guys think but you don't have to review if you don't want to. Just let me know what you think.**


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